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Girl on girl

Do you know what’s in this season? Misogyny. Not just any misogyny, but girl on girl misogyny.

Recently there has been a spate of articles published that have been written by female journalists, and that discuss how awful women are. Often with the clarification that while not all women are that awful, all women who aren’t the journalist and a couple of her friends are.

The problem with this is that not only is it patently nonsense, akin to saying that all humans are awful, but it is also a very basic form of trolling. The argument goes that women are so awful that they hate other women, and that any women who disagrees is clearly demonstrating hate towards the journalist, and therefore the point is proved, let’s go for a drink with our friends,most of whom are men you know, cos women are too awful to like us.

I don’t have time for that. I do not have the breath to waste, i do not have the hours to burn, i do not have the energy to spare, for the fruitless fight against such utter, utter nonsense.

Now, i’m not saying there aren’t bitches out there, nor am i saying there isn’t a little bitch in all of us, but surely that’s embedded quite firmly in the part of us that has ensured the survival of the species throughout ice ages and droughts and dinosaur attacks and killer robots and i could go on but you get the picture. You can’t be a species with no predatory instincts, unless you’ve got poisonous skin or spines or, like, the ability to make folk leave you alone by telling them to straight into their brain.

That said, the ideas that have been put forward are frustrating and, for want of a better word, bullshit, and while it’s annoying even having to address it, it keeps on coming and so unless i get this out of my head every new article telling me what a fucking cow i am will drive me batshit crazy.

First things first, if you’re pretty you have a hard life, and what’s worse, you will be punished for it by women whose envy knows no bounds.

This is a special kind of arrogance. It is putting yourself on a pedestal and demanding to be pitied for being better than everyone else. You’re not saying it’s tough being pretty, you’re saying it’s tough being so much prettier than me that i could never hope to understand how it feels. Long story short, you’re calling me, at best, plain, at worst, ugly. Who’s the bitch here? This isn’t a Breakfast Club moment, this isn’t you tearfully stating that i’m less popular and that that isn’t your fault, it’s just life. This is some woman who has NEVER SEEN the vast majority of the women on this planet stating outright that she is prettier than most, if not all of them. So much so that her world is a different place. I, for one, took offence at this because, and please forgive me some arrogance of my own here, but i AM pretty. I have my good days and my bad days, but in general my bones are put together in the right order and my features weren’t mashed on with a spatula. A lot more women are pretty than would say so, i suspect, but they are. YOU are. Some of you are downright beautiful. And that bears no relation whatsoever to how you, or i,¬†treat our fellow human beings.

But let’s not get this confused, because what i am doing is stating facts. What i am not doing is claiming complex yet universal psychological implications of being a 5 rather than a 6 out of ten. And what i, as a self-proclaimed pretty woman, am not doing, is accusing my friends of being so intimidated by me that they stand between me and their menfolk, or of being mere livestock in the world of Pretty People.

Another article, one i read just yesterday, explained that two famous women did something mean to another famous woman not because they’re mean, but because they’re women, and this is what women do. They are horrible to each other. They drag each other down, they gang up in packs to ensure the destruction of the one refused entry, they hate each other on a primal level, an almost genetic level, anyone they’re not related to, by blood or by sharing screentime on a reality talent show, is doomed.

This is another cretinous argument, which i would have hoped was beneath a civilised person. When a woman does something horrible, it is only because she is a woman, and watch out, because it could be YOUR WOMAN NEXT. It’s like some kind of plague, only the best we can hope is that it remain dormant, because it’s definitely, definitely inside us all. I know this because women who have been bullied by other women tell me so.

And it couldn’t possibly be that what all mean women have in common is that they’re mean.

It must be that they’re women.

I suppose one might argue there’s an element of misogyny in this blog too. I am, after all, ranting about female journalists. But some of my favourite journalists are female. The reason i’m ranting about some specific female journalists is that i’m truly disappointed they don,t know better. It feels to me like courting controversy, baiting the public for a reaction, which it frustrates me that i’m even giving them. But this thing of claiming to be one of a very few who can see, and are prepared to speak the truth, is playground stuff, surely.

You can’t just walk around claiming that human beings are such and such a way because they have this chromosome. More precisely, you can’t walk around saying things like that and expect me, or any significant proportion of the population, to take you seriously.
There but for the grace of god, right? Thank god you’re so pretty and clever as to have a modicom of grace and class.

Imagine what a bitch you’d be if you were only average.


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